he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize