yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
