Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize