I must be too annoying 4 u.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It was confusing and full of hummus
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
