I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
