We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize