her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
