i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
