Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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