I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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