Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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