That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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