We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
