yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize