Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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