Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
