Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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