We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize