And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I cockslap morals
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize