i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize