is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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