you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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