you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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