Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
