Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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