Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The maid of honor just puked.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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