So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
