Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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