a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
