Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
