; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do vagina's smell?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
