i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
