Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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