break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
