i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
