i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
