I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
