There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
