Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
