Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
