What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
