so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
