I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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