i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
