Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
