did you get engaged???
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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