summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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