yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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