this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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