Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
