People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
