Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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