Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were trust falling into bushes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
