forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
