R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize