If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this just has baby written all over it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
