Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're a waste of cheezeits
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
