Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
