So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
