In the future we'll all be gay
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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